I was sitting in a cafe today studying for a final I have tomorrow. It wasn't too busy, but there were a few different groups of people spread out through the room. Closest to me were a couple of ladies discussing pretty much every aspect of their lives. I'm not one to intentionally listen in on private conversations or seek out gossip. However, there were a few things I couldn't help but overhear.
The main things that stuck out to me were a sense of sadness covered over by nervous and loud laughter, and a disillusionment with the conventional church structure. I don't know the histories of these two women, but I feel they have a tale to tell.
Occasionally one would describe something about her life that she hated--her husband's bad habits, or lack of sensitivity--and then laugh loudly to make it seem like she didn't really care or she could handle it without any pity. The other would follow with an "Aw" and a similar story. Most of this I drowned out in study, but when they started talking about the shortcomings of the church my curiosity was piqued.
Since I missed the first part of this particular dialogue, I have to extrapolate how it began. Both women seemed to be from a Christian background. They talked about faith, church and the Bible in a way that sounded like they had grown up or at least spent a good amount of time in church. Then one began talking about how she missed somethings from going to church, which leads me to believe that she no longer attends. She listed the things she didn't like--the structure of a "church service."
"Now we have to sing, now it's time to pray. OK, now we're done." she said. We come, we go through the motions, and we leave basically the same as when we entered. Nothing was coming from the heart to God.
But then she talked about missing the corporate worship and being lonely--having no one to talk to about things, presumably as she was right then. Fellowship was still that important.
It seems that so many people are turned away from the Church because of people that play church. Christians who know the steps to go through, but don't really know why they do it take over and try to make others fit their comfortable, easy and predictable mold. And most of the time, I would agree that their version of church is wrong. The thing of it is we as humans are all too apt to throw out the baby with the bathwater. For those who don't know better, who have not had the privilege of growing up with Christian truths and values, or who have just never really understood, the biggest roadblock to finding the truth is a well-meaning churchy Christian. The only problem with not going to church and becoming involved with corporate worship is that we will be lonely. We are created to be social, and God has provided a method of interacting with other Christians called fellowship.
So, do we continue playing church so we have a social scene, or do we rethink what we do? God has given us instruction to meet and encourage each other.
Hebrews 10:25
"And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near."
What are we doing wrong? Why are people lonely, like the woman in the cafe? What can we do to fix it?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Back to School
I've been attending classes at Southwest Baptist University now for five weeks. Living in a dorm for the first time has been a great and very different experience. So far I have very few complaints about things, though I have come to realize that I'm one of the few people that goes to bed early and is quiet most of the time. Actually, my roommate and suite mates seem to be the only others... thank goodness it's them.
Classes have been good so far. I have been challenged more than ever before to make an effort in studying and paying attention in class. I finally feel like I'm in an institute of higher education. This basically means I have a ton more work to do. But all in all, I feel that I've been given the right tools to deal with and make the most of it.
Some of my classes were difficult to start off with. I don't agree with one of my teachers on the origin on of the universe, and considering he teaches my earth science class, this may prove to be a problem. At the beginning of classes, though, I decided that I should see the class through, and not drop it because I didn't agree with the teacher. I had expected that kind of disagreement at my previous school, a community college, but here, at a Christian school? I was somewhat shocked that the teacher would propagate such views.
Working on the school newspaper, the Omnibus, has been a great experience so far. I feel like I have a lot to offer, and that I'm not totally expendable. I constantly find myself doing too much, which is stressful. However, I think that I somehow get a rush from having so much responsibility landed on me. I can't do it all the time, but it gets done when I have to. Already I've had to deal with issues of politics and sensitive topics, and it makes me feel like I'm doing real world work, not just writing for a "school paper" that no one reads. (www.omnibusonline.com)
Soon this semester will be over and I'll being going crazy with something else that HAS to be done NOW, but now I'm going to just live in the moment and not worry about what's coming up later.
Classes have been good so far. I have been challenged more than ever before to make an effort in studying and paying attention in class. I finally feel like I'm in an institute of higher education. This basically means I have a ton more work to do. But all in all, I feel that I've been given the right tools to deal with and make the most of it.
Some of my classes were difficult to start off with. I don't agree with one of my teachers on the origin on of the universe, and considering he teaches my earth science class, this may prove to be a problem. At the beginning of classes, though, I decided that I should see the class through, and not drop it because I didn't agree with the teacher. I had expected that kind of disagreement at my previous school, a community college, but here, at a Christian school? I was somewhat shocked that the teacher would propagate such views.
Working on the school newspaper, the Omnibus, has been a great experience so far. I feel like I have a lot to offer, and that I'm not totally expendable. I constantly find myself doing too much, which is stressful. However, I think that I somehow get a rush from having so much responsibility landed on me. I can't do it all the time, but it gets done when I have to. Already I've had to deal with issues of politics and sensitive topics, and it makes me feel like I'm doing real world work, not just writing for a "school paper" that no one reads. (www.omnibusonline.com)
Soon this semester will be over and I'll being going crazy with something else that HAS to be done NOW, but now I'm going to just live in the moment and not worry about what's coming up later.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Change
In just two weeks I'll be moving into a dorm. This is a first for me, even though I've been in college for two years now. All the what-ifs attack me all the time; what if my roommate and I don't get along, what if I don't like it, what if there are too many distractions, what if I just plain hate it? I really have no idea what to expect.
A couple days ago I was freaking out about how to pay for school in time. I didn't have the money, and the deadline was approaching fast. I didn't know what to do. Today, I have peace that goes beyond understanding. I still don't have all the money, and I can't pay for the whole semester. But I have enough. I always have enough. I may not have all I think I need, and I definitely can't see what's coming in the future. But I have enough for now. God has always given me that.
Things still attack me, like fear and anxiety, but when I calm down enough to listen and remember, I remember that I have the peace I need. It's always there, I just don't always see it past my whining and struggling and claim it as my own.
So, dorm life, here I come. Give me your best shot, 'cause I'm on the winning Team.
A couple days ago I was freaking out about how to pay for school in time. I didn't have the money, and the deadline was approaching fast. I didn't know what to do. Today, I have peace that goes beyond understanding. I still don't have all the money, and I can't pay for the whole semester. But I have enough. I always have enough. I may not have all I think I need, and I definitely can't see what's coming in the future. But I have enough for now. God has always given me that.
Things still attack me, like fear and anxiety, but when I calm down enough to listen and remember, I remember that I have the peace I need. It's always there, I just don't always see it past my whining and struggling and claim it as my own.
So, dorm life, here I come. Give me your best shot, 'cause I'm on the winning Team.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Baby Birds
On the front porch there is a nest of baby birds just learning to fly. I got a chance to take some pictures today. There were three birds in the nest when I set up the stool and started to get on it, but as soon as I was up where they could see me, two of them flew away. The third cowered as low and flat as it could while I took some pictures. I got quite a few before someone came out and made just enough more noise to scare it into flying away also.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
All in a Days Work
Working at a graphic design company, I get some opportunities to go out and actually apply, or "install," the graphics, letters or stripes, whichever it may be. Yesterday I went with my boss and helped him with a couple jobs. The first was putting some striping on a houseboat. We drove out to Laurie, Missouri, to a "ranch" on the lake. To me it looked more like a hobby farm, but my idea of a ranch encompasses more land and more cattle. This one had its animals, but not of the bovine sort. There were several miniature horses, a llama or two, an ostrich and emu (not the same thing, by the way) and two camels. There were more, larger, horses, but not in view. In addition they also have several dogs. I counted five, though there may have been more. Of these, the largest was an English springer spaniel, trained bird dog. The smallest was debatable. There was a dachshund and an Italian greyhound that were very close in size.
This ranch, I was told, belongs to the owner and producer of a fairly large Christian radio network. My boss introduced me to the owner and the extended family that were also there as a college student who's parents are currently in Bolivia on the mission field. Immediately they were interested in the story and began asking questions about everything. When they discovered that I am a Journalism major, being radio people, they were pleased, and tried to persuade me to go into broadcast journalism. They also stated that they wanted to interview my parents when they were in the area next. It was a pleasure the meet them and make a new acquaintance.
The rest of the morning was spent putting the stripe on the boat and chatting with a man who was putting carpeting on the same boat. For the afternoon, we put lettering and reflective striping on fire trucks. I had the honor of being trusted to install striping on one truck all by myself with no supervision. And I didn't do badly enough to get fired either!
Today has been a different kind of day altogether. I was able to sleep in for the first time in a while. After I got up I stayed in my room for the next couple hours watching movies on my laptop and folding laundry, with the occasional expedition downstairs to get coffee. After lunch, I went into town to get a few groceries, and then took a walk when I got back. Since I'm house sitting at the New Tribes MTC for the next week or so, I actually have somewhere to go to walk. Along the way I even ran into some friends.
When I got back from my walk I started to make supper. I'm very proud of myself, as I prepared it in advance and cooked it in the oven. Not only that, but I changed up the recipe and it still came out tasting good.
For the rest of my evening, I think I will return to my movie watching and relaxing. It's good to have a break from everyday busy-ness.
This ranch, I was told, belongs to the owner and producer of a fairly large Christian radio network. My boss introduced me to the owner and the extended family that were also there as a college student who's parents are currently in Bolivia on the mission field. Immediately they were interested in the story and began asking questions about everything. When they discovered that I am a Journalism major, being radio people, they were pleased, and tried to persuade me to go into broadcast journalism. They also stated that they wanted to interview my parents when they were in the area next. It was a pleasure the meet them and make a new acquaintance.
The rest of the morning was spent putting the stripe on the boat and chatting with a man who was putting carpeting on the same boat. For the afternoon, we put lettering and reflective striping on fire trucks. I had the honor of being trusted to install striping on one truck all by myself with no supervision. And I didn't do badly enough to get fired either!
Today has been a different kind of day altogether. I was able to sleep in for the first time in a while. After I got up I stayed in my room for the next couple hours watching movies on my laptop and folding laundry, with the occasional expedition downstairs to get coffee. After lunch, I went into town to get a few groceries, and then took a walk when I got back. Since I'm house sitting at the New Tribes MTC for the next week or so, I actually have somewhere to go to walk. Along the way I even ran into some friends.
When I got back from my walk I started to make supper. I'm very proud of myself, as I prepared it in advance and cooked it in the oven. Not only that, but I changed up the recipe and it still came out tasting good.
For the rest of my evening, I think I will return to my movie watching and relaxing. It's good to have a break from everyday busy-ness.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Wooster, Coffee and a Cold
I've had a rather relaxed day. After sleeping in to a decent hour, not too late, I did a little work--"business"--and went into town to run errands. It all sounds very grown up, but I suppose that's what distinguishes independent from irresponsible. One of these errands was to pick up some cold medicine for the stuffy nose and sore throat that attacked me last week. I felt very responsible as I compared brands and prices, finally choosing the store brand over the name brand. The highlight of that trip was getting I.D.ed when I tried to buy them. Apparently you have to be over 18 to purchase medicine, particularly cold medicine.
The rest of my day had very little productiveness in it, other than doing laundry. I listened to music, watched comedians on YouTube, and watched "Jeeves and Wooster," a British sitcom. I tried to use the DVD player and TV, but the DVD player is apparently possessed, as the disc holder won't shut to play the movie. The only way I could make it stay closed was to turn the machine off, then push the thing in. Even then, it decided to turn itself back on and open up again. I repeated the process and it seems to be holding... for the moment.
Living on my own, for however short a period of time, seems to invoke in me strange instincts. For instance, doing laundry. Normally I would wait until the last possible moment, but today I started it in the morning. Also, I started some meat marinating to cook tomorrow, instead of waiting to do something fast like a TV dinner. I also made coffee. That, however, is not so unusual a habit.
One more strange instinct is now asserting itself on me--to go to bed before midnight. And I might just do it too.
The rest of my day had very little productiveness in it, other than doing laundry. I listened to music, watched comedians on YouTube, and watched "Jeeves and Wooster," a British sitcom. I tried to use the DVD player and TV, but the DVD player is apparently possessed, as the disc holder won't shut to play the movie. The only way I could make it stay closed was to turn the machine off, then push the thing in. Even then, it decided to turn itself back on and open up again. I repeated the process and it seems to be holding... for the moment.
Living on my own, for however short a period of time, seems to invoke in me strange instincts. For instance, doing laundry. Normally I would wait until the last possible moment, but today I started it in the morning. Also, I started some meat marinating to cook tomorrow, instead of waiting to do something fast like a TV dinner. I also made coffee. That, however, is not so unusual a habit.
One more strange instinct is now asserting itself on me--to go to bed before midnight. And I might just do it too.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Snapshots
It's been a long day. I drove from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., nine hours. Considering the trip is supposed to have more than eight and a half hours of just driving time, I think I did pretty well. There were no major incidents, meaning I didn't get lost or even take a wrong turn.
I stopped in Louisville to top off my gas tank and buy a drink. When I went to pay, the man running the gas station at the time ran in and told me I'd have to wait a minute. He was polite, but seemed flustered. He came back momentarily and I paid for my drink. He said jokingly that he didn't need to have a day like this on a Sunday. I asked whether he needed to have a day like "that" anytime, and he said that on Monday it would be normal and expected. I really wasn't sure what he meant, but I gathered that it was more of a headache than other days. On my way out I said, "Have a good day!" He replied, "Thanks, I needed that." A moment later I was getting into my car, and I heard one of the other customers yelling at the attendant. There had been some lack of communication, and the customer hadn't followed the directions. Personally I think the customer didn't know what he was doing. Either way, I felt bad for the whole situation.
I don't really have a conclusion for this story. I just prayed that he really did have a good day, and that I had helped a little by having a good attitude rather than being impatient.
If we could add a little more patience to each our lives, we would take more time to listen and more time would be used understanding and communicating, rather than trying to scream your problems out louder than the next guy.
I stopped in Louisville to top off my gas tank and buy a drink. When I went to pay, the man running the gas station at the time ran in and told me I'd have to wait a minute. He was polite, but seemed flustered. He came back momentarily and I paid for my drink. He said jokingly that he didn't need to have a day like this on a Sunday. I asked whether he needed to have a day like "that" anytime, and he said that on Monday it would be normal and expected. I really wasn't sure what he meant, but I gathered that it was more of a headache than other days. On my way out I said, "Have a good day!" He replied, "Thanks, I needed that." A moment later I was getting into my car, and I heard one of the other customers yelling at the attendant. There had been some lack of communication, and the customer hadn't followed the directions. Personally I think the customer didn't know what he was doing. Either way, I felt bad for the whole situation.
I don't really have a conclusion for this story. I just prayed that he really did have a good day, and that I had helped a little by having a good attitude rather than being impatient.
If we could add a little more patience to each our lives, we would take more time to listen and more time would be used understanding and communicating, rather than trying to scream your problems out louder than the next guy.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Real Travels: Slow Down
Greetings from Florence, Kentucky. Last Sunday I drove from Camdenton, Missouri to Florence, a 9 hour drive for me. I had expected it to take longer, but I'm thankful that the traffic wasn't bad and the weather was cool. My only experience on the trip worth mentioning is how I DIDN'T get a speeding ticket.
After passing through St. Louis I was in a stretch of empty road with just a few other vehicles. There had been signs every so often along the road that said "Slow Down, Enforcement Up. Arrive Alive." Nobody seemed to pay much attention. After all, it's the freeway, you're expected to go about five miles per hour over the limit. Of course, being in an empty stretch with very little traffic, the trend was a little faster. I was going along, following everyone else, matching their speed, not passing. I reasoned that if anyone got pulled over, it would be one of the people in the front going fast. Something happened that made me slow down a little; either I got something to eat or drink and decided to slow down. Wise of me, right?
I was coming around a curve and saw a white car on an overpass. First thought: That's probably a cop car. Second thought: I'll slow down just in case. Sure enough, as soon as I rounded the curve I saw two cars pulled over about 20 feet apart. Close call, I thought, recognizing them as two that I had been following. A second curve showed three more cars pulled over... all ones that I had been following moments before.
Thank you Lord for making me slow down!
After passing through St. Louis I was in a stretch of empty road with just a few other vehicles. There had been signs every so often along the road that said "Slow Down, Enforcement Up. Arrive Alive." Nobody seemed to pay much attention. After all, it's the freeway, you're expected to go about five miles per hour over the limit. Of course, being in an empty stretch with very little traffic, the trend was a little faster. I was going along, following everyone else, matching their speed, not passing. I reasoned that if anyone got pulled over, it would be one of the people in the front going fast. Something happened that made me slow down a little; either I got something to eat or drink and decided to slow down. Wise of me, right?
I was coming around a curve and saw a white car on an overpass. First thought: That's probably a cop car. Second thought: I'll slow down just in case. Sure enough, as soon as I rounded the curve I saw two cars pulled over about 20 feet apart. Close call, I thought, recognizing them as two that I had been following. A second curve showed three more cars pulled over... all ones that I had been following moments before.
Thank you Lord for making me slow down!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy Fourth of July
Hello,
Happy Independence Day. I hope everyone had a great time.
I spent the afternoon preparing for the great blowing up of many things. It's a tradition to make paper airplanes and boats and attach bottle rockets and other explosives to them. These are tossed toward the lake in the hope that they continue in that direction. Most of them did.
This event occurred on the Point, at NTM. Another family there put on a fireworks show for everyone. It was amazing! I was quite impressed by the extent of the display. Unfortunately my camera batteries had died at this point, or I would have taken pictures.
This next week I'm headed to Kentucky to visit some friends. Please pray for me as I drive by myself. I'm looking forward to seeing them as it's been a while.
Well, goodnight for now!
Love in Christ,
Jeni
Happy Independence Day. I hope everyone had a great time.
I spent the afternoon preparing for the great blowing up of many things. It's a tradition to make paper airplanes and boats and attach bottle rockets and other explosives to them. These are tossed toward the lake in the hope that they continue in that direction. Most of them did.
This event occurred on the Point, at NTM. Another family there put on a fireworks show for everyone. It was amazing! I was quite impressed by the extent of the display. Unfortunately my camera batteries had died at this point, or I would have taken pictures.
This next week I'm headed to Kentucky to visit some friends. Please pray for me as I drive by myself. I'm looking forward to seeing them as it's been a while.
Well, goodnight for now!
Love in Christ,
Jeni
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
School Stuff
Hi,
I have to go to bed soon! I stay up too late too often. That will change... someday. Anyway, my excuse tonight is that I went to Graceland youth group. It was fun to meet new people going there, and see some people I already knew. Of course I was used as an object lesson since I'm "so old!" Frank was making about point about not worrying about or focusing on the future too much, and asked me how long it was since I graduated from 8th grade. It's been 6 years. Then he made the point that when I was 13, in 8th grade, it seemed like forever till I would be 20. Now I am, and it didn't seem that long in retrospect.
OK, my main excuse: I filled out another application for a student loan, through the State of Missouri I believe. It took a while, but we'll see if this helps me out any with school. I had previously received a letter saying my loan application was denied, but then I got something saying that it was accepted, and I just needed to fill out one more thing. Maybe the "one more thing" was delayed in the mail and they thought I wasn't going to do it. Fingers crossed and prayers lifted.
I had a good talk with an old friend today. It was neat to catch up with someone who I haven't seen in forever long, and be able to talk about everything from what we're doing on the 4th of July to what we're doing in our devotions. The fellowship of Christ truly does surpass the boundaries of the world.
Well, the bugs are massing in my room and even getting stuck in my hair... evil Japanese beetles. So, I'm going to turn my light out and get ready for bed. On second thought, I'll reverse the order and not run into something in the dark.
Love you all,
Jeni
I have to go to bed soon! I stay up too late too often. That will change... someday. Anyway, my excuse tonight is that I went to Graceland youth group. It was fun to meet new people going there, and see some people I already knew. Of course I was used as an object lesson since I'm "so old!" Frank was making about point about not worrying about or focusing on the future too much, and asked me how long it was since I graduated from 8th grade. It's been 6 years. Then he made the point that when I was 13, in 8th grade, it seemed like forever till I would be 20. Now I am, and it didn't seem that long in retrospect.
OK, my main excuse: I filled out another application for a student loan, through the State of Missouri I believe. It took a while, but we'll see if this helps me out any with school. I had previously received a letter saying my loan application was denied, but then I got something saying that it was accepted, and I just needed to fill out one more thing. Maybe the "one more thing" was delayed in the mail and they thought I wasn't going to do it. Fingers crossed and prayers lifted.
I had a good talk with an old friend today. It was neat to catch up with someone who I haven't seen in forever long, and be able to talk about everything from what we're doing on the 4th of July to what we're doing in our devotions. The fellowship of Christ truly does surpass the boundaries of the world.
Well, the bugs are massing in my room and even getting stuck in my hair... evil Japanese beetles. So, I'm going to turn my light out and get ready for bed. On second thought, I'll reverse the order and not run into something in the dark.
Love you all,
Jeni
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Night Picture
One night it was beginning to storm and I was trying to get some pictures of lightning. Unfortunately this is all I was able to get off the Point.
Monday, June 29, 2009
One Day at a Time
Hi Everyone,
This is my attempt at letting everyone know what's going on in my life, since I'm now so far away from so many of you.
These past weeks have been full of "moving exercises"-- meaning paperwork. It took me two days, but I got all my car license stuff dealt with, and I'm registered to vote in Missouri to boot. That only all happened after having my car inspected (yikes) and running all over town to get legal waivers and titles and other odds and ends. I had to wait so long for the car license that I went next door and got my drivers license switched too.
The next step was getting my insurance switched over. That proved a little more tricky. In order to do that I had to get my banking all set up, get checks, etc. I needed a check to void. Anyway, I got set up, and thought everything was good to go. Mistake #1: Made assumption. Apparently my checks were never ordered. I went in to see what the deal was and they informed me of this, and kindly ordered checks for me. Still, by the time they're supposed to arrive (not for a week or so more still) it would be too late. So, what do I do, I pondered. Fortunately I was able to have my employer print me a few to use. In the process, however, we learned that the bank could have printed me checks already. Mistake #2: Believe businesses are doing what they can (like the obvious) to help you out.
All in all, it seems that all the legal things have come together well, and I shouldn't have to waste anymore of my time dealing with it.
I praise God for the things He's taught me though this; a continuation of the ongoing lesson in patience, humility, and trust. I'm not self-sufficient but I can't always rely on people.
I love you and miss you all,
Jeni
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)