Questions

I have a lot of questions in life. Most people do. I ask, what car should I drive? Well, the one I own now seems to be the best choice. A lot of questions have fairly obvious answers. For example, why do I have to submit myself to gravity? Basically, I have no choice. Why do I have to work? To support myself and not starve.

Others are not so easy. Why are yawns contagious? Why do you put the peanut butter on before the jelly? Why do I want things that I know will hurt me, like a pet hippo? Why do some people see me, and others don’t know I exist? Better yet, why do I care?

I ask myself these questions and more all the time, and usually don’t arrive at any useful conclusions. I am tempted to stop questioning things and just go with it, because it’s going to be that way anyway. Then I realize that when I stop asking questions, I stop learning. I see people who have given up and go day to day, practically dead because they no longer care. I don’t want to be like that.

So, I don’t have all the answers. But really, no one does. We all work towards the goal of learning more, and living with the answers we have the best we can.

Communication

Many people either advocate the modern mode of communication via text message or instant message, or condemn it altogether.  Those opposed to it talk about how it dehumanizes everything and gets us used to impersonal relationships. Those who promote this form of communication talk about how it’s easy, fast and allows them to multitask.

Personally, I’m in the middle. It’s so convenient to send someone a text to find how where they are or when something is. However, there have been times when I’ve been frustrated by the lack of human contact in communication. It loses a certain quality I believe is necessary for good communication. One statistic says that communication is only 7% verbal. This means that the words we write only convey 7% percent of our true meaning to the receiver. This makes texting and I.M.ing a very poor method for an in depth conversation.

Yet, there are times when there is a hard or awkward conversation that needs to be had, and I find myself glad that I’m not having it in person, or wishing for the protection of the computer screen between us.

The bottom line—technology is good in its place, as it has always been.

Eves Droppings

I was sitting in a cafe today studying for a final I have tomorrow. It wasn't too busy, but there were a few different groups of people spread out through the room. Closest to me were a couple of ladies discussing pretty much every aspect of their lives. I'm not one to intentionally listen in on private conversations or seek out gossip. However, there were a few things I couldn't help but overhear.
The main things that stuck out to me were a sense of sadness covered over by nervous and loud laughter, and a disillusionment with the conventional church structure. I don't know the histories of these two women, but I feel they have a tale to tell.
Occasionally one would describe something about her life that she hated--her husband's bad habits, or lack of sensitivity--and then laugh loudly to make it seem like she didn't really care or she could handle it without any pity. The other would follow with an "Aw" and a similar story. Most of this I drowned out in study, but when they started talking about the shortcomings of the church my curiosity was piqued.
Since I missed the first part of this particular dialogue, I have to extrapolate how it began. Both women seemed to be from a Christian background. They talked about faith, church and the Bible in a way that sounded like they had grown up or at least spent a good amount of time in church. Then one began talking about how she missed somethings from going to church, which leads me to believe that she no longer attends. She listed the things she didn't like--the structure of a "church service."
"Now we have to sing, now it's time to pray. OK, now we're done." she said. We come, we go through the motions, and we leave basically the same as when we entered. Nothing was coming from the heart to God.
But then she talked about missing the corporate worship and being lonely--having no one to talk to about things, presumably as she was right then. Fellowship was still that important.
It seems that so many people are turned away from the Church because of people that play church. Christians who know the steps to go through, but don't really know why they do it take over and try to make others fit their comfortable, easy and predictable mold. And most of the time, I would agree that their version of church is wrong. The thing of it is we as humans are all too apt to throw out the baby with the bathwater. For those who don't know better, who have not had the privilege of growing up with Christian truths and values, or who have just never really understood, the biggest roadblock to finding the truth is a well-meaning churchy Christian. The only problem with not going to church and becoming involved with corporate worship is that we will be lonely. We are created to be social, and God has provided a method of interacting with other Christians called fellowship.
So, do we continue playing church so we have a social scene, or do we rethink what we do? God has given us instruction to meet and encourage each other.
Hebrews 10:25
"And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near."
What are we doing wrong? Why are people lonely, like the woman in the cafe? What can we do to fix it?

Back to School

I've been attending classes at Southwest Baptist University now for five weeks. Living in a dorm for the first time has been a great and very different experience. So far I have very few complaints about things, though I have come to realize that I'm one of the few people that goes to bed early and is quiet most of the time. Actually, my roommate and suite mates seem to be the only others... thank goodness it's them.
Classes have been good so far. I have been challenged more than ever before to make an effort in studying and paying attention in class. I finally feel like I'm in an institute of higher education. This basically means I have a ton more work to do. But all in all, I feel that I've been given the right tools to deal with and make the most of it.
Some of my classes were difficult to start off with. I don't agree with one of my teachers on the origin on of the universe, and considering he teaches my earth science class, this may prove to be a problem. At the beginning of classes, though, I decided that I should see the class through, and not drop it because I didn't agree with the teacher. I had expected that kind of disagreement at my previous school, a community college, but here, at a Christian school? I was somewhat shocked that the teacher would propagate such views.
Working on the school newspaper, the Omnibus, has been a great experience so far. I feel like I have a lot to offer, and that I'm not totally expendable. I constantly find myself doing too much, which is stressful. However, I think that I somehow get a rush from having so much responsibility landed on me. I can't do it all the time, but it gets done when I have to. Already I've had to deal with issues of politics and sensitive topics, and it makes me feel like I'm doing real world work, not just writing for a "school paper" that no one reads. (www.omnibusonline.com)
Soon this semester will be over and I'll being going crazy with something else that HAS to be done NOW, but now I'm going to just live in the moment and not worry about what's coming up later.

Change

In just two weeks I'll be moving into a dorm. This is a first for me, even though I've been in college for two years now. All the what-ifs attack me all the time; what if my roommate and I don't get along, what if I don't like it, what if there are too many distractions, what if I just plain hate it? I really have no idea what to expect.
A couple days ago I was freaking out about how to pay for school in time. I didn't have the money, and the deadline was approaching fast. I didn't know what to do. Today, I have peace that goes beyond understanding. I still don't have all the money, and I can't pay for the whole semester. But I have enough. I always have enough. I may not have all I think I need, and I definitely can't see what's coming in the future. But I have enough for now. God has always given me that.
Things still attack me, like fear and anxiety, but when I calm down enough to listen and remember, I remember that I have the peace I need. It's always there, I just don't always see it past my whining and struggling and claim it as my own.
So, dorm life, here I come. Give me your best shot, 'cause I'm on the winning Team.

Baby Birds

On the front porch there is a nest of baby birds just learning to fly. I got a chance to take some pictures today. There were three birds in the nest when I set up the stool and started to get on it, but as soon as I was up where they could see me, two of them flew away. The third cowered as low and flat as it could while I took some pictures. I got quite a few before someone came out and made just enough more noise to scare it into flying away also.

All in a Days Work

Working at a graphic design company, I get some opportunities to go out and actually apply, or "install," the graphics, letters or stripes, whichever it may be. Yesterday I went with my boss and helped him with a couple jobs. The first was putting some striping on a houseboat. We drove out to Laurie, Missouri, to a "ranch" on the lake. To me it looked more like a hobby farm, but my idea of a ranch encompasses more land and more cattle. This one had its animals, but not of the bovine sort. There were several miniature horses, a llama or two, an ostrich and emu (not the same thing, by the way) and two camels. There were more, larger, horses, but not in view. In addition they also have several dogs. I counted five, though there may have been more. Of these, the largest was an English springer spaniel, trained bird dog. The smallest was debatable. There was a dachshund and an Italian greyhound that were very close in size.
This ranch, I was told, belongs to the owner and producer of a fairly large Christian radio network. My boss introduced me to the owner and the extended family that were also there as a college student who's parents are currently in Bolivia on the mission field. Immediately they were interested in the story and began asking questions about everything. When they discovered that I am a Journalism major, being radio people, they were pleased, and tried to persuade me to go into broadcast journalism. They also stated that they wanted to interview my parents when they were in the area next. It was a pleasure the meet them and make a new acquaintance.
The rest of the morning was spent putting the stripe on the boat and chatting with a man who was putting carpeting on the same boat. For the afternoon, we put lettering and reflective striping on fire trucks. I had the honor of being trusted to install striping on one truck all by myself with no supervision. And I didn't do badly enough to get fired either!
Today has been a different kind of day altogether. I was able to sleep in for the first time in a while. After I got up I stayed in my room for the next couple hours watching movies on my laptop and folding laundry, with the occasional expedition downstairs to get coffee. After lunch, I went into town to get a few groceries, and then took a walk when I got back. Since I'm house sitting at the New Tribes MTC for the next week or so, I actually have somewhere to go to walk. Along the way I even ran into some friends.
When I got back from my walk I started to make supper. I'm very proud of myself, as I prepared it in advance and cooked it in the oven. Not only that, but I changed up the recipe and it still came out tasting good.
For the rest of my evening, I think I will return to my movie watching and relaxing. It's good to have a break from everyday busy-ness.